


I'll be the one to build you up

by EponineTheStrange (gallifreyandglowclouds)



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 04:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyandglowclouds/pseuds/EponineTheStrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Karen was going to move to L.A and Matt couldn’t just let her go without telling her how he feels. So he tells her but she still leaves. She tells him that if they still feel the same when she comes back to the UK something might happen, but she’s afraid of how it might turn out, so she never calls him anymore. Instead of Karen calling Matt after The Nerdist interview, she just shows up at his flat?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be the one to build you up

In the dictionary, beside the definition for the word idiot, there is probably a picture of his face. There’s probably a picture of Karen’s face right beside it, but he is idiot numero uno supremo. Yep. He’s basing that on Karen’s expression as she stands in the middle of his living room, surrounded by suitcases with her arms folded across her chest. 

“Are you serious, Matt?” she asks, looking at him incredulously.

“Yeah, Kaz, I just…” he falters a little, shifting from one foot to another and keeping his eyes focussed straight down on the carpet. He’s never noticed that the pattern on his carpet was so… interesting. “I just haven’t been able to say anything because we were working and then now you’re leaving and I just needed to say this to you before you went to Los Angeles.”

He looks up at Karen. She sighs, and says, “Well, okay Matt, I feel the same way.” 

He smiles, but she continues, “That fact is not stopping me from going to LA, though.” 

His smiles fades a little, but he’s not surprised. “That makes sense, Kazza. I wouldn’t want to stop you.” Not strictly true. He does, because he wants her to stay here and be with him, but that’s not how things are going to work for the moment. 

“I don’t know if I’m going to stay forever, though,” Karen says, “and if we still feel the same way when I come back to the UK, then we can try a relationship.” 

Matt lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and nods. At least it’s a  _when I’m coming back to the UK_ instead of an if. An if might kill him. 

She steps closer to him, and he takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her in a kiss. It’s gentle and chaste, and when they break apart she pulls him in for a hug. 

She wipes tears from her eyes and says, without looking at him, “I think my taxi’s coming soon, Matt.” 

He nods. “Of course.” He helps her bring her stuff downstairs, and her ride to the airport is ready and waiting. He hugs her again, and whispers in her ear, “I love you, Kaz.” 

“Love you too, Matt,” she whispers back. 

“Don’t be a stranger,” he says, as she gets into the taxi. He waves to her until the car disappears around a corner, and then goes back upstairs to his flat and lies on his couch and stares at the ceiling for ages and ages. 

He Skypes with Karen several times in the first few weeks that she’s away, but the contact dwindles and dwindles. He checks his phone compulsively, but her text messages come less and less frequently until they stop coming altogether. 

It makes him want to throw his phone against a wall multiple times. 

* * *

Well, the Nerdist interview is a thing that happens. 

There’s something that reminds her of home when she watches BBC America, and when she sees that Matt is going to be on the show, something in her brain goes,  _what the hell_? 

And then it ends up being ridiculous, because it ends up weirdly enough, being about her. She gives Chris credit for attempting to keep the interview about Jenna, but then he drops the line about how Karen isn’t calling any more and she has to stop watching. 

He’s not wrong. She and Matt haven’t spoken much for a while now, and there’s something deep down in her soul that misses it desperately. She thinks about she could totally send him a message or an email or something right at that moment, but there’s a weird mental block that stops her every time. 

She’s got like six or seven draft emails saved on her computer that start with things like  _Hey Matt, how are you?_ Or,  _So I’m still weirdly and desperately in love with you and I’m sorry that I haven’t made this clearer_ or things along those lines. Though she’s ashamed to admit it, she’s afraid. 

Afraid like she’s afraid of swimming. Actually, scratch that - she’s more afraid of being with him than she’s afraid of swimming. 

Every time that she thinks about having a relationship with Matt, she thinks back to how things ended with Patrick (badly). And she doesn’t want to do that with Matt, because she knows that he deserves better and Matt’s the greatest thing that has ever happened to her, so she doesn’t want to mess things up with him and blow up a perfectly good friendship. 

So the clear and logical thing to do is book a plane ticket home and go see him, especially after she gets the text from Chris telling her that she should maybe give him a call. So that’s what she does, she books a ticket from LAX to Heathrow on a whim, and emails Moff to get the filming schedule, because she wants it to be a surprise. 

Karen gets Moffat’s reply when she lands at Heathrow - he’ll be back from Cardiff later today. She doesn’t sleep on the flight from Los Angeles to London, because she’s full of nervous energy and doesn’t know what she’s going to say to Matt when she sees him. 

The timing works out weirdly and she ends up sitting in the Costa across from Matt’s flat for hours, using up way too much of the battery on her phone and drinking too much coffee. (She justifies it because of the intense amount of jet-lag that she’s feeling.) 

Finally, from her table by the window, she sees Matt go up the stairs that lead to his flat. Karen almost gets up to go, but something stops her and she sits back at the table for another half-hour, staring out the window. 

* * *

He collapses on the couch after he gets home, and it’s not until he hears the buzzer that he wakes up. 

“Hello?” he says, and he’s a bit surprised that anyone’s here because he isn’t expecting any visitors. 

“Matt, it’s me.” 

He drops the teacup he’s holding. 

“Kaz,” he says. 

“Yup. It’s starting to rain, Matt.” 

He buzzes her up and tries to clean up the shattered cup as best he can in the thirty seconds he has before she knocks on the door, and he tries to figure out what he’ll say, because  _she’s back._ And that means that they’re going to give things a try. 

He hopes so, at least. 

She knocks at the door and and he opens it, and there she is, beautiful and heartbreaking and wonderful. Neither of them say anything, they just stand there and stare at each other. 

“Matt, I -” she starts, and he doesn’t let her finish because the next thing he does is pull her in to his flat, lets her place her suitcase in a place where it’s not going to get stolen or anything, and then kisses her like he’s never kissed anyone before.

* * *

A few hours later Karen not so much wakes up as drifts in to consciousness, and just catches Matt leaving to get something, she’s guessing from the kitchen. She aches just a little, but it’s the very best kind of ache, and she could just see the marks from her nails on his back, but she’s got some to match so they’re even, she supposes. 

He comes back with two glasses of water, and places one on the nightstand beside Karen and one on his, and then climbs back in to bed and runs his fingers through her hair. 

He doesn’t say anything for a long time, and then kisses her on the forehead, and runs his fingers through her hair. She rolls on her side to face him, and smiles. 

“Morning,” she says, still a bit dreamy. 

“Are we going to give this a try, Kaz?” he asks, more than a hint of worry in his voice. “You and me?” 

“Yeah,” she says, and leans in to kiss him. “That’s why I’m here, Matt.”

“Good.” 

“Love you,” she says. 

“Love you too.” 


End file.
